10 Best Sweatshirt Ever Made In Usa

Best Sweatshirt Ever Made In Usa in 2023

---

---

---

---

---

---

---

---

---

---

---

What If America's Best Athletes Played Soccer?

The world's only super power has won exactly zero World Cups, but what if out best athletes grew up with game? Check out the new team USA made up America's brightest hardwood and gridiron stars.

American men's soccer has long been the laughing stock of the international community. The world's only super power has won exactly zero World Cups and has been embarrassed in international play more times than one cares to count. International critics argue that Americans lack the capacity to understand the nuance and subtly of the "beautiful game." I have a different view. I believe that we fail to excel at soccer because our best athletes do not play the game and if they did we would dominate the world stage. American soccer is in a catch-22, our best athletes do not play soccer thus we aren't good at the game and because we are not good our best young athletes do not grow up wanting to become soccer players. But, what if they did grow up with that desire? What if America's best athletes did play the world's most popular sport and what if they did so form an early age? As Chad Ochocinco's recent attempt to join the Kansas City Wizards MLS team proved an athlete can't change sports overnight. However, the recent labor strife in the NFL and NBA got me wondering. What would America's national soccer team look like if our best basketball and football players grew up playing the game?

The rules of this exercise are simple. 1) A player must be born as an American citizen, as much as Steven Nash make sense on soccer field barring an invasion north of the border we can't have him on our team. Realistically, I've heard worse reasons to invade Canadian than the acquisition of Nash. 2) This exercise is restricted to current NFL and NBA players. While I think its fun to image what would have happened if Jordan and Bird could battle Pele that's getting a little out there even for me. 3) The idea is to match the player's skills in their respective sport to a specific position on a soccer field. When picking players I looked for athletes with skills and abilities that would translate to the fubtol pitch. I wanted players with speed, endurance, field vision, a natural talent for passing, and the ability to faint on command when lightly grazed by an opposing player. Okay, maybe not that last one. With these rules in mind I present to you the new and improved team USA.

Goal Keeper - Dwight Howard (Orlando Magic C) Famed dodge ball coach Patches O'houlihan once advised, "If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball." In the case of Howard I argued that if you can block a basketball you can... errr block a soccer ball. Okay it's not exactly Einstein's theory of relativity, but I think the basic idea is strong. After all, the 6' 11" Orlando Magic center is the reigning three time NBA defensive player of the year. He has led the league in total rebounds for five consecutive years and blocks three times. In addition to his mammoth height he possesses a 7' 6" wingspan that must give Jay Bilas powerful dreams at night and would make scoring a goal on him next to impossible. Unlike some other NBA bigs Howard is in great shape and fleet of foot meaning that diving saves shouldn't be a problem. Best of all in crunch time we wouldn't have to rely on his shaky free throw shooting. Bonus: Howard can saves goals in shootouts while wearing a superman cape and having Nate Robison jump over him.

Full Backs

Center Fullback Ray Lewis (Baltimore Ravens LB) We may not have the best soccer program in the U.S. so we need to make up for our lack of defensive skills with raw athleticism, power, and the ability to cause unbridled fear in our opponents. I want defensive players that will make Wayne Rooney wet his pants before crossing in front of them. Who better to anchor team USA's defense than the 11 time pro bowl middle linebacker of the Baltimore Ravens? Soccer players are famous for faking injuries after barely being hit, not against our team. When Ray Lewis hits someone you can be assured that all injuries are very real. What color of card does someone get for a decapitation? Bonus: During the inevitable soccer riots that would result after U.S. World Cup victories you will always know the safest place to be, behind Ray Lewis.

Center Fullback Troy Polumalu (Pittsburgh Steelers SS) Ray Lewis provides the defense with power and an emotional force to rally behind but he isn't as fast as he once was and I fully expect him to be suspended for at least half of our games for a plethora of violent acts. Because of this he needs to be paired with someone who balances him in every way. Polumalu compliments the aging, brass, and bald Lewis with excellent speed, a quite demeanor, and a soft luscious full head of hair. Bonus: Because he is not forced to wear a helmet Troy's hair is allowed to roam free. Polumalu's untamed hair provides the U.S. with a extra defender when would be goals become tangled in his long locks.

Left Fullback Dwayne Wade (Miami Heat SG) Although known primarily for his offensive prowess D-Wade is also a strong defender. Adapt at playing man to man and zone defense his quickness, instincts, and break away speed should serve him well as a fullback. The flexibility he brings to the game allows for him to play multiple positions on the field. Having Dwade at fullback allows for complex offensive schemes that would allow him to play up at the midfield position at times and allow midfielders to drift back into a defensive position. Bonus: There are no game sixes in soccer so we won't have to worry about Wade fading into the background in key situations.

Right Fullback Rajon Rondo (Boston Celtics PG) Like Dwade, Rondo brings tremendous speed and flexibility with him to the field. Named to the 2020 All-NBA First Team Defensive squad Rondo has already distinguished himself as one of the best defenders in the NBA. Asked to focus only on defense and not have to worry about developing a jump shot the sky could be the limit for him. Rondo also brings some much needed youth to the defensive backfield and his natural passing instincts will allow him to get the ball out of trouble when needed. Bonus: Rondo is a great soccer name. You need at least one guy who can be known by a single name on any good team ala Pele, Ronaldo, Xavi, and Kaka (note I did not make the last name up) for that Rondo is our guy.

Midfielders

Center Midfielder Chris Paul (New Orleans Hornets PG) A good midfielder needs strong passing and ball handling skills. With that in mind I grabbed the best passing American point guards from the current NBA. Technically Steven Nash won the NBA assist title in 2020, but he is Canadian and thus eligible for the team. This is despite my protest to FIFA that Canadian is merely a frozen Puerto Rico, an American province in every way but still not given the right to vote in Presidential elections. Concerns about Paul's knee still linger but given that he won't do much jumping on the soccer field and that grass is a tad more cushioning than hardwood, I think he will be fine. Bonus: Paul is already a talented two sport athlete. According to his Wikipedia page Paul is a noted bowler and spokes person for the United States Bowling Congress. Seriously, there is such a thing as a bowling congress? Note the U.S. Bowling Congress is not to be confused with equally the prestigious European Bowling Union or the British Bowling Parliament.

Center Midfielder LeBron James (Miami Heat SF) As we learned during the NBA finals LeBron James doesn't mind passing, even in the most critical of moments. Thankfully passing is a generally a good thing on the soccer pitch. Despite the ill feelings he engendered this past season James remains a tremendous talent and a unique athlete. He has great field vision, a knack for passing, and he glides down the court when running. King James would also be killer when receiving corner kicks. Lionel Messi is 5' 7", David Beckham 6", and Cristiano Ronaldo is only 6' 1" but James is 6' 8" with crazy hops. Height doesn't matter much on a soccer field, but on corner kicks or throw-ins near the goal having player who can soar above the rest can't hurt. Bonus: This team recreates the ultra popular and successful paring of Dwayne Wade and Lebron James... oh wait.

Left Midfielder Kobe Bryant (Los Angeles Lakers SG) In the middle of our field we want a leader, a scorer, a closer, and a guy who nicknamed himself after a poisonous snake, the Black Mamba provides us with all four. Having Kobe on the field means you never have to worry who will take the last kick in a shootout or take a key penalty kick to win the game. His work ethic and killer instincts are famed and he proved when leading team USA's basketball team to the gold in 2020 in Beijing that other elite players will defer to him in crunch time. Bonus: Did I mentioned he nicknamed himself after a poisonous snake? I'm almost positive it's a FIFA rule that all World Cup winning teams have at least one player who anoints himself with nickname from a member of the reptile family indigenous to the Democratic Republic of the Congo.

Right Midfielder Larry Fitzgerald (Arizona Cardinals WR) On the football field Fitzgerald is hampered by the weak arms and errant throws of Derek Anderson, John Skelton, and Max Hall (again I did not make up the last name). On the futbol field he can generate his own offense. Fitzgerald has an amazing combination of speed, strength, and raw freakish athletic ability that make him look like he was born to play on a pitch in the Premier League. Bonus: Paring Fitzgerald with fellow teammate Troy Polumalu reunites the 2020 Madden cover boys and makes team USA a lock for an endless line of hair care endorsements.

Center Forwards/Strikers

Center Forward/Striker Adrian Peterson (Minnesota Vikings RB) Soccer players have to have great endurance and with the nickname All Day, Peterson seems like a natural fit. To be a great striker you need to have great speed and a head for scoring. As a standout NFL running back he is adapt at moving through traffic, finding holes defenses, and I don't see him going down to simple a slide tackle. Bonus: Because it is impossible to play soccer effectively in wranglers, Peterson is finally freed from reporters inundating him with questions about Bret Farve.

Center Forward/Striker Chris Johnson (Tennessee Titans RB) While researching this story I read a post on soccer message board claiming that no man has ever run a 40 yard dash in under 4.3 seconds and that American football players need to stop telling lies about their speed. Considering that Johnson boast a 4.24 40 yard time (tied for fasted in NFL combine history) he may beg to differ. Still don't feel his time is legit? Than you need to remember what one message board posted pointed out, the NFL combine uses "freaking lasers" to time runners. Having one of the fastest athletes on Earth on your team cannot be a bad thing. Bonus: Johnson is a former East Carolina Pirate, since ya know East Carolina is filled with pirates.

Coaches

Head Coach Phil Jackson (Los Angeles Lakers Retired) The Zen master would be the perfect coach to lead team USA. Jackson is a master at working referees, managing egos, and above all else winning. With all the different personalities and talent on this team we will need a coach capable of handling a few head cases. Jackson has coached everyone from Michael Jordan (who would lead any all time team of basketball players who have would been great futbollers), Kobe Byrant, Denis Rodman, and Metta World Peace. Bonus: After retiring as the team's coach we can look forward to Jackson writing a tell-all book in which he blames Kobe for not square passing to Larry Fitzgerald in the semifinals of the Copa Cup against Columbia.

Assistant Coach Bill Belichick (New England Patriots Head Coach) If this defensive mastermind had grown up as the son of futbol coach instead of a football coach who knows how more advanced American soccer strategy might be. As the assistant coach of team USA we know we will have the most creative and innovative defenses possible. Bonus: Team USA benefits form tapes of Brazilian practices that magically fall into the coach Belichick's hands.

Substitutes and Alternates

Kevin Love (Minnesota Timberwolves C/F) Love would be a specialist we bring in special situations. He is one of the greatest outlet passers in NBA history. Don't believe me just check out the youtube videos of him making full court baskets with only the flick if his wrists. This talent alone would make him dangerous as a goalie throwing the ball down field or at other positions throwing in from the sidelines.

Ndamakong Suh (Detroit Lions, DT) I know that Suh is a little husky for the soccer pitch but he possess incredible speed over short distances and immense power. Suh's leg is so strong that despite being the leader of the Lions' defense he is also the team's back up field goal kicker. Suh would suck up space as either a fullback or a possible goalie making it hard for defenses to score. And if the presence of Ray Lewis is enough to scare opposing players on the field, the presence of Ndamakong Suh ought to be enough to terrify opposing fans sitting in the stands.

Danny Woodhead (New England Patriots RB) Woodhead brings us speed and versatility off the bench. He has excellent field vision and great cut back skills. Football coaches rave about his running ability but he always been held back by concerns about his size. Woodhead is listed as 5' 9" but best guesses estimate his true height at closer to 5' 7". While his small stature might raise concerns for his career as an NFL back his size is perfectly suited to the soccer pitch where similar sized players like Lionel Messi excel.

What do you think the chances are of this new team USA in the next World Cup? Are there players that I overlooked and mistakenly left off the team? Sound off in the comment section below.